back in new york.
still smell like this boy i shared a bed with last night. i just slept for sixteen hours & woke up & i still feel not happy not complete. on the bus to boston i cried it wasn't you i couldn't smell i can't taste you anymore i can't see you anymore. i saw you in the coffee shop but walked by & you didn't see me. & i had to take anti anxiety medicine on the bus because you were not the boy i could smell on me & i know i won't smell you on me anymore. after you left my bed still smelled like you for approximately two and one half weeks. i have not washed my linens in a long while. that is gross(?) on the bus i fell asleep. in the airport the security guard told me i was the most stylish person he had seen in the airport in a long time. this was maybe awkward but i was too tired to care. i had not changed clothes in about a day and a half, so i thought the comment ironic. except maybe not, because sometimes i use the term "ironic" incorrectly. this is what people mean by "smells like sex" (????) i should shower. i am maybe not very clean, maybe. maybe not. the shower in my dorm is not very clean either.